Its Gotta Be Worthy

I love me some cake

I love me some cream.

High fructose corn syrup, you say? 

Get out of the way—

That’s the stuff of my dream.


High fat, low fat,

Real or fake,

I don’t really care

When it comes to cake.


But its gotta be worthy,

its gotta taste good.

Three points or less

is preferred, if you would.

So this is the tongue-in-cheek poem I wrote for a contest over on CrankyFitness.  The question Cranky posed was whether you preferred– when you wanted a treat– junk food snacks that were lower in calories, or a smaller portion of ‘the real thing.’ 

The reason I put in that line about high fructose corn syrup was because when I started this thing (weight loss) I started trying all different ‘energy bars,’ and granola bars mostly as ‘healthy’ substitutes for cookies and desserts, and sometimes breakfast.  I really liked some of them, and ate a LOT of them.  At about the same time, high fructose corn syrup was in the news a lot, being touted as an evil food addition.  So, I finally started reading the labels of my energy bars and I noticed an ominous trend.  All the ones I liked the most had high fructose corn syrup as the first or second ingredient!  I have since cut way back on my ‘energy bar’ consumption, and try to avoid, but not completely eliminate the evil high fructose corn syrup.  I have noticed an interesting trend, however.  After HFCS got such a bum wrap in the news, many of the bars began appearing with ‘rice syrup’ as the first or second ingredient.  Who are we fooling people?  We like it because it is sweet.

So, I said I don’t really care if it is real or fake, and for my ‘desserts’ that is true, at least partly.  I started out the first week with a container of Lite Cool Whip (Main ingredients:  Water, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup) and now hundreds of cool whip containers later, I still think almost anything can be improved with a little cool whip…(my latest favorite is a butter toffee rice cake with a little cool whip spread on it–1 1/2 points) but it is still really important to me that something taste really good.  If it is chocolate, it should taste like real chocolate, etc.

The low points are really important to me because I do really try to use the majority of my points to fuel my body with healthy food.

And I use that phrase A LOT–its worthy, or its not worthy (that is, it tastes good enough to be worth using ___ amount of points on it.)  The other day my sister said, you know where that phrase came from, don’t you?  I am aware, I said.  Seinfeld fans will remember what Elaine was referring to when she said that.  Its disgusting, but nonetheless funny to me.  I can’t help it.

6 thoughts on “Its Gotta Be Worthy

  1. I have used the “worthy” reference to Seinfeld many, many times myself. It sums it up like nothing else does.

    My criteria for the BARS is having a serving of protein (6-7 g) otherwise (in my mind) they are COOKIES with a marketing ploy to make people think they are food.

  2. What a great poem, and I totally agree with the idea behind it: it’s gotta be good or it’s a waste of whatever calories it is. Sometimes low cal stuff tastes good, but if it doesn’t– it’s not worthy.

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