“I think my whole life up until now might have been preparing me for this moment.” Those were the words of Captain Sullenberger describing his successful emergency landing on the Hudson River. I got a little teary watching the 60 Minutes interview with this cool captain. It was an amazing story of someone doing the very best he could, using everything he had learned up to this point in his life, to ultimately change the destinies of several hundred people. Someone making the best of a very bad situation.
I don’t want to suggest that my little problem is to be compared to a crash landing in the Hudson River, or that my solution is to be compared to the brilliance of Captain Sullenberger. But this just happens to be what I was thinking about right before I watched the 60 Minutes interview. I haven’t written for a while about the stress with trying to help my dad and his wife, mostly because I found a way to deal with the stress (that’s a topic for another entry.) But after this last trip Friday and Saturday, which was succesful mostly, I found myself REALLY tired, and eating too much and again worrying about it all disappearing. But now, 24 hours later, it seems I have a little perspective on the problem, and even have done quite a few things that I think ‘made the best of a bad situation.’ So, ever the teacher, I thought I’d share them with you.
First, on the way home from my dad’s, I called my brother, and confessed, ‘I can’t stop eating.’ He responded immediately, ‘neither can I.’ I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear that someone who has ‘stood the test of time,’ who has maintained a normal weight and stayed physically fit his whole life, also struggles sometimes. It makes me hopeful that I can continue on. That I don’t need to give up.
But this morning I woke up feeling tired and fat, and like a failure. I actually wanted to wear workout clothes to church! But I made myself pick out a dress and some pretty high heels to wear. I might not look as good as I did a few pounds ago, but I will fight the feeling of being a failure and feeling embarrassed about how I look. Just the fact that I can walk in those silly high heels is a victory ! But I was still thinking about all the food I wanted to eat. I talked to a friend at church about where we were going to go eat next week, and she said well we could go to BJ’s, they have salad there. And I said, ‘yeah, but that’s not what I want there. I want a burger and a pizookie!’
So I came home, and strategized. I had a great cup of Peet’s coffee with me, and decided to have a lunch that would go with the coffee: sliced apples, a lite string cheese, some walnut halves, and a piece of my favorite zucchini bread. And planned to make a great burger for my dinner. I keep 4 oz. ground sirloin patties in my freezer for when I really want a burger. And I use a whole grain lite english muffin for the bun. I made some baked sweet potato fries, which are better than any restaurant fries you can have, and I even grilled some asparagus, which I thought might have been overkill, but it made it seem like a really big meal. I really like being able to eat for a while, if you know what I mean.
And now, for now, the crisis has been averted. I know I can choose to eat healthy foods. I can choose to eat normal amounts of food. I can choose to wait until the next meal to eat. And I can choose to exercise. I’m off to do the Shred. It’s not as much exercise as I had hoped to do today, but it is 20 minutes more than nothing!