There is a beautiful line in the movie ‘Out of Africa.’  Near the end of the movie, when it seems her world is falling apart, Karen Blixen says something to the effect ‘When I think I can’t stand it anymore, I think of one more thing happening, and then I know I will be able to bear it.’  Of course, as a writer, she says it more beautifully.  But I am too sad to watch a sad movie to get the quote right today.  

My Lainie died this morning. I had just come back last night from an exhausting two days of helping my dad and his wife, and worrying/thinking about what needs to be done to help them, and Lainie wasn’t feeling good.  I got up early this morning and was ready and dressed to leave for the vet’s, and 10 minutes before I was going to leave, she collapsed, and I was able to hold her until she died.  She was a good little girl.   Everyone else loved her almost more than me!  She was part of the team affectionately dubbed ‘the bad little girls’ by my friend, after she and Celie got up on the dining room table and ate a blueberry coffeecake–twice!  Lainie was 13 years old, and she had a very good life.  I am glad that I let her sleep on the pillow next to me WHENEVER she wanted to.

Most of you know I am a dog lover from way back.  No matter how long they live, it is not long enough for us, is it?  Dogs give unconditional love, and never hold a grudge.  I think that’s why it’s especially hard to lose them.  But the joy they bring is definitely worth the pain of losing them.  I will end with my most favorite quote about love.

To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable… The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.     C. S. Lewis

12 thoughts on “Lainie

  1. Debby, I am so, so sorry you lost your Lainie. At least you can find comfort in knowing that she had a wonderful life because you brought her into your home, and that you had a wonderful 13 years because she came into your life.

  2. Okay, I won’t say I loved Lainie more than you did, but you know I loved her at least as much as you did. For those of you who don’t know Debby’s home, there are 2 ways out. Those of us driving out make the loop around to the other side, and Debby many times will run down the other side with a dog in tow, waving good-bye. Well, knowing Lainie was my favorite, she would ALWAYS run down carrying Lainie, and I would roll my window down and yell, “Lainie, jump for freedom!” and many time I threatened to take her home with me. I can’t tell you how much I will miss that little girl running up and loving unconditionally on me when I come to visit. I am praying for you. Love you.

  3. Oh, Debby, I’m sorry to hear about Lainie. As if there wasn’t enough crazy stuff going on! She sounds like a wonderful dog, and I’m so glad she enjoyed a great life with you. (I’ll be giving our girl, Bela, extra loves this evening, that’s for sure.)

  4. I am so sorry! I know what a dog lover you are and how sad this is. I will give my poodle an extra squeeze and think of Lainie. My thoughts are with you.

  5. Ohhhh, so very sad.


    it’s too too cold her to walk my dogs in honor of Miss Lainie, but as soon as I can do so, I will do a memory walk. I love my k9 units to pieces. They are so reliable and give me comfort…even when Mr. Murphy is rotten and trying to eat the kitten again.

    Sorry for your loss.

  6. I’m a dog AND cat lover and just last weekend I had to put my beloved cat, Georgie, down. She was also 13 years old. I can’t believe she is gone or how much we can deeply love these furry friends. My sympathies to you.

  7. Debby – I am so sorry. I’ve been through the loss of a long cherished, loved pet. Let yourself grieve – and meditate on the good things Lainie experienced, and the joy God allowed her to bring you. I’ll be praying for you, friend.

  8. Oh MY! (reaching for the kleenex!)

    I’m so sorry for your loss. They are such a tender part of our lives. What would we do without our little clowns in fur clothing?

    Take care of yourself and hang in there. How wonderful that you were there to hold her.

    Wishing you peace!

  9. Debby I’m just getting caught up from being on vacation. I’m SO SORRY to hear about your Lainie. My girl is 13 years old and I know that each day with her is a gift. I’m so glad you were able to hold Lainie in those last minutes. I pray that God will ease your pain and help you deal with all the other stuff going on in your life right now!

    PS I realize this is a haul for you, but I’m planning to be in San Fran March 22 and hope to meet up with Pubsgal. Would you want to join us?

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