Just so ya know…
- I still wanted to buy a package of M&M’s when I was in the store today. “Just in case…” I still like M&M’s with popcorn. And I can easily split the package into two servings (yes, by counting out the pieces.)
- I still struggled at dinner with the ‘tiny’ piece of salmon I had planned to eat. “Just thaw out both pieces. Its not that much.” (5 ounces instead of the 2 ounces I had planned.)
- I still pick up ‘junk food’ when its sitting around and its free. Like yesterday at sewing day. A handful of trail mix, and a brownie.
- I still am intimidated at the gym. If guys are in the free weights room, I might skip what I want to do there. If somebody comes in the studio to work out, I will usually stop what I am doing and act like I was done and go on to something else. If somebody is in the spa, I will skip it, even though I was really looking forward to it after my swim. And, if you can believe it, I’ve belonged to this gym for 6 months and have never set foot on a treadmill. Granted, I prefer to walk outside. But its been raining…
- I still have a hard time stopping eating. I chew Eclipse gum to stop, or as a substitute for food, or instead of dessert, or as a psychological prop. I don’t even know why sometimes. I do know I should take out stock in Eclipse gum…
- I still struggle with the vision part–wanting it to be physical ‘perfection’ vs. physical health. Man, I’d love to look like I feel (firm and slender) on my best days.
- I still eat when I am not hungry. Because I have planned to eat that food and/or because there are calories left at the end of the day.
- I still use Splenda.
- I still drink diet coke.
- I still use half and half in my coffee.
Just so ya know.
A lot of my posts are about good choices I make. Good foods I eat. Good exercise I have done. I am not trying to be deceptive. I mostly want to encourage people that change is possible. But sometimes I am encouraged when someone admits a fault or a struggle. I often learn best from my mistakes. So I thought it might be helpful to list the things that I still struggle with. After five years, and countless changes, some of the same old things are still a problem.
Here’s how I dealt with each of those problem areas.
- I passed on the M&M’s. I thought about Vickie’s wise advice–if its in the house, it will get eaten. And I made myself think about all the healthy dessert type things I had in my house right now. And I made myself admit that if I had the M&M’s, I would eat them with the high calorie microwave popcorn.
- I only thawed out the two ounce piece of salmon. And yes, I know it was two ounces because I made myself weigh it. But dinner was absolutely delicious. The salmon was cooked to perfection, and each bite was a treat. And it was enough. (If you’re interested, I had it with roasted cauliflower (tossed with salt, pepper, garlic, and olive oil) and a wonderful Comice pear.
- I tried to make myself stop eating the brownie and throw it out the window. But I couldn’t make myself stop, even though it wasn’t that good of a brownie. Only redeeming value was that it was small.
- I have a plan to ask the nice girl who works at the gym on Sundays if she will give me a little intro to the treadmills. Then maybe I will start to use them instead of just looking wistfully in their direction. If there is only one guy in the free weights room, I will go in there and do what I want to do.
- I work really hard some days at not eating until I am hungry.
- Some days I wear form fitting clothes to the gym and I make myself look in the mirror to watch my form. I work at ‘being content in whatever state I am in.’ I pay attention to how strong and sure footed I am.
- I tried to let myself run out of Splenda. But I just can’t give it up yet. I have bought agave syrup, and I am slowly learning how to add a little bit of it into certain recipes. I also eat my yogurt without adding splenda sometimes. Work on just trying to enjoy the natural flavor of things.
- Diet coke is not leaving any time soon. But I only have one a day usually. And I usually don’t have one at all on the days I work.
- I try periodically to give up half and half in my coffee. I usually end up adding the same amount of calories of whatever I am substituting so that it will taste more like half and half. Coffee is just not worthy without half and half. So for now, it stays.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go and have a cup of tea and a pumpkin chocolate chip bar. Not because I am hungry. But because I have planned for it and I have enough calories left and because I have been a good girl today.