I know this never happens to any of you. First, I was just tired. Really tired. After a long day Saturday, my thoughts get very VERY negative. And then that negativity carried over to Sunday, which usually doesn’t happen. One good night’s sleep usually gets me back on track. Maybe its because my sleep has been interrupted the past few nights. Maybe its a cumulative tired. And Sunday morning I weighed myself. Even though I know better than to weigh myself after my 12hour workdays. And my weight was up two pounds (Two Pounds, that was the alternative title of this post.) And that did not help my mood. Which ended up with me thinking, “I’m tired of trying.” I’m tired of writing down every single thing I put in my mouth. Or not writing it down and then obsessing over that. I’m tired of thinking about whether or not I should eat something today, or maybe that would be too much and I shouldn’t eat it until tomorrow. Or eating something ‘white’ and worrying about the cravings that will hit and the hard work of trying to resist. I’m tired of always always trying to lose weigh and always staying the same. I’M TIRED.
And unfortunately, that did not end Sunday night. I woke up Monday morning feeling old AND tired. My eyes feel like they do after you’ve cried for way too long. Only I didn’t cry. Maybe I should have cried and gotten this over with. My food choices have not been stellar for the past two days (I even bought and ate some of those stupid gummy cinnamon bears in the grocery store today. They looked sorely out of place among all the fresh fruits and vegetables and fish that were in my basket.) But my food choices have not been horrible either. And I still wrote everything down.
Today was my workout with Vickie. And I went. But not with the enthusiasm that I usually have. Earlier in the week I had been thinking about how much I LOVED working out with Vicky and how I was never going to stop no matter how much it cost. And the workout was a really good one. Very hard and challenging, and I did pretty good. AND I took two walks with Noah. Fortunately, his energy level pretty much matched mine.
Well, if you’re still reading, here’s my takeaway from this. Whatever this ‘I’m tired’ state is, it has nothing to do with my diet or my food journaling. It has very little to do with my lack of weight loss. I would have times like this whether I was fat or thin. That’s just the way life is. Just keeping on doing the best I could with food choices, taking Noah for his walks, going for my workout with Vicky, and going to the grocery store to stock up on fruits and veggies and fish, in spite of how I felt, will help it to not get worse. And when I pull out of it (planning for tomorrow!) I will be none the worse for wear.
Here is a pretty little ‘crazy quilt’ block that I managed to do even though I was tired!