Back on Track

In case you didn’t know it, I’ve been in quite a funk for a wee bit of time.  Noah seems to get the lion’s share of the blame for my problems, but I actually don’t think he is the main problem.  Work has been EXTREMELY frustrating and stressful for me for quite a while, I haven’t been sleeping as well (this is a big factor for me,) there are a few other things that I don’t talk about on the blog, and I think stopping my ‘accountability’ with Vicky might also be adding to the mix.  I stopped journaling my food,  and basically, as I have said to almost everybody, ‘I’M TIRED AND CRABBY.’  Fun, huh?  Noah’s barking has been part of the problem, and the amount of time I need to spend with him also factors in.

Well, today was a red letter day!   I decided to track my food this morning, just as a matter of discipline and ‘training.’  I actually wasn’t making poor food choices, just eating too much, and eating when  I wasn’t hungry, which is extremely frustrating to me.

AND,  (insert trumpet blast)  Noah now has a personal trainer!   And I bet most of you guys guessed this already.  I am the problem.  Oh, you know I loved hearing that. I evidently am not a good pack leader.  So Noah is confused and is trying to be the pack leader for me.  Anyway, I really really like this trainer, and can  you believe it, she lives about 10 minutes from me!  I have known about her for years, but for some reason, I thought she was located 45 minutes from me.  We had one private session today, and then  she is going to keep Noah and  work with him while I am on vacation, and then we will just join  in  the regular open  training classes.  I asked her specifically if she thought he was ‘too high energy’ or ‘needed to be a working dog’ and she said no.  She thinks our problems are relatively simple to resolve. Boy, I sure felt good after that.  When we came home, Noah was so tired he laid down next to me and slept VOLUNTARILY for a couple of hours.  THAT has never happened.

To celebrate, I went to the gym for a super workout –2 tabata  intervals, and increased weights on most of the machines I do, I tried those Arnold presses that Lori showed us (oops, I just reviewed the video, and I did a VERSION  of the Arnold press…), and then I got in the pool and just swam and swam.  Then I went and got some frozen  yogurt (planned.)

Hey, tonight I tried a new recipe, and man oh man was it delicious!  Christie’s  balsamic honey chicken.  I followed the recipe as is, except that I use that garlic that is already crushed for you, and I used just a little less oil.

Don’t you love it when  SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER MET senses you’re feeling down, and sends you a cheery email and gives you a bloggy award?  Thanks, Jillie, you made my day.  Although you made these questions pretty darn hard.

  1. What do you do in the privacy of your own home that you would NEVER do in front of anyone? If I am doing something in private that I would NEVER do in front of anybody, what makes you think I will spill the beans here??? That  said, here are a couple of things I do that I feel  ‘comfortable sharing.  1.  I eat stuff with my hands A LOT.  2.  I use very bad language when I am mad that I do not approve of ANYONE using.  It is a very bad habit that is very hard to break. I am actually afraid that I will go nutty in  my old age and use bad language and people will be shocked that I talk like that…
  2. If you could be someone else for one day, who would it be? This is actually something that I never think about.  But how about a prima ballerina?  Yes, I have always wanted to be a ballerina, and to have ballerina legs.  I don’t want to have a ballerina appetite or ballerina pain.  But to wear the pretty clothes and have amazing legs and dance one dance perfectly.  Yes, I would like that.
  3. What’s the bravest/scariest thing you’ve ever done? Oh, since this award is from Jill, I will tell my Oklahoma story!  When I was younger and stupider  and not that independent, I decided I would assert my independence and drive up to Norman, OK from where I lived in Keller, TX  to go to our professional handler’s house so I could go to some dog shows with them.  Off I went in my Dodge Demon with my Standard Poodle puppy in the back seat.    Umm, at that time, I did not know that you were supposed to ‘maintain’ your car.  I don’t ever recall getting the oil  changed.  So somewhere around 10pm on the dark and windy roads in Oklahoma, my car started acting up.  But there was no place open  to get it checked out, so I just kept driving.  Until it just stopped.  On the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.  Have  I mentioned that I am scared of the dark?  Well, pretty soon I saw headlights behind me. Oh, good, I thought.  That is the cop car I passed a while ago.  He is coming to help me.  The headlights started pulling off the road behind me.   And then they RAMMED INTO ME.  It wasn’t a cop, it was a stone drunk woman.  Our cars were attached to each other and shoved off into a ditch.  Have I mentioned I am scared of the dark?  THEN, pretty soon some more headlights showed up.  Oh good, its the cop.  No, it was two ‘farmers.’  Who offered to take me  and this drunk woman to the police station.  I GOT IN THE CAR, even though I had been warned all my life not to get in cars with strangers.  Then, the ‘farmers’ started driving  AWAY from the town.  And then they turned off the main road and started saying incoherent things like, ‘do you girls like mari-juany?   I’m not kidding you, I sounded like a broken record   ‘please take us back to town please take us back to town please take us back to town….’ I’m telling you, it was a complete miracle that they turned around and took us to the police station.  WHICH was empty.  So I GOT IN A CAR with another man, who also was of questionable character, but he eventually took me (and my poodle puppy who was with me this whole time)   back to my car, and somehow a highway patrol guy showed up, who was rude to me, and who KNEW  the drunk woman, and who wrote the accident up as MY FAULT.   I am not kidding.  I went back to Texas, and just didn’t drive in Oklahoma for 10 years.  NO KIDDING.   Who could make this s#^t  up?  Oops, evidently I thought I was in the privacy of my own home…

Wow.  That was a little off-topic.  As always, I have so much more to say.  But aren’t you glad I am tired and am going to end for now.   Check in  tomorrow for a post with a few assorted pictures.


17 thoughts on “Back on Track

  1. What a neat bloggy award. I loved reading the questions and your answers. And as always I enjoyed your blog. I feel your pain. Funny thing, I was wishing I could ever have a dog like Noah that was fun and didn’t need a doggie psychologist. It’s great that he has a personal trainer. Good luck!

  2. Ha ha ha ha, I enjoyed your answers to the award questions. But I was also surprised at the questions. When I was given this award, there was no mention that I got to make up the questions, and I just copied the same questions as the last guy, and passed them on to the next one… so the “rules” of this award got lost somehow as it was passed along. Rats! That would have been fun, to make up some questions.

    Oh well, it was fun hearing your answers.
    And I am so happy to hear of the progress with Noah. His very own personal trainer… ooh la la, LOL! I’m sure that must’ve have been a huge relief to be told that it was a simple fix.


  3. It was interesting to read your answers to that award. In general I think we are all more alike than different your not the only one who uses bad language especially in private.
    I didn’t know there was such a thing as personal trainers for dogs how about that? I learned something new today:)
    Have a great Sunday!

  4. I’m glad you are back on track. You know that things are actually working for you when you drift away from your routine and accountability and things kinda fall apart and are just not as satisfying.

    As nurses we have a level of work stress and basically post traumatic stress disorder related to our jobs that most people never experience and can’t comprehend. I still remember patients I’ve taken care of from 25 years ago..not the name or the details , but the desperate looks, suffering, pleas, joys of living, and the death. And though I don’t provide bedside nursing anymore, I have enough contact with patients to be amazed and sometimes decimated by their lives.

    Oh well, sorry, bloggy therapist here. Hang in there . Sounds like it’s time for a vacation for sure. Maybe you could reduce your hours?

    Happy Noah of the sticks, I hope the trainer doesn’t train that out of him.

    • PJ, don’t apologize for such a wonderful comment. You absolutely made me cry–in a good way. Its so good to be understood.

      Don’t worry about the trainer taking Noah’s sticks away. She told me she had a dog whose teeth were WORN DOWN because she loves sticks so much!

  5. Oh Debs, so much to comment on!

    I’m sorry you are having a rough time. It seems like things just sort of happen all at once, don’t they? And when you aren’t getting enough sleep, it just compounds the problem. What do you think the Not Sleeping thing is about? (besides Noah, anyway)

    Speaking of Noah, I think it’s great that he has his own trainer! It’s nice to reach out for help, and realize it was a good decision. I think this will do wonders for your relationship! 🙂

    I love this: “To celebrate, I went to the gym for a super workout” Can you believe this is the way you celebrate now? I think it’s fantastic – I hope I can get to that point someday!

    I didn’t mean for the blog award questions to be hard! I just thought they would be fun to think about and read about. 🙂 First of all – I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE IN OKLAHOMA!!! I cannot believe the HI-PO blamed YOU for the accident – that is just unbelievable! And my sister lives in Norman, did I tell you that? If you ever come to Norman, OK again, we’ll go hang out at her pool and I promise you will have a better view of Oklahoma! 🙂

    And once upon a time, I used to cuss a blue streak. I’m better now, but sometimes those words come back easier than I’m comfortable with! You are so not alone on this one!

    Oh, I tried your custard oats this morning – instant LOVE!!!!! I lurve them…a lot! 🙂

    I hope you have a good day today!! 🙂

      • Funny! Never fear, all those smiley faces cheered me up!

        The not sleeping is mostly summertime and a house with a lot of windows. My bedroom is pretty dark, but Mr. Monk was waking up early and he woke Noah up. I moved Mr. Monk into my bedroom last night–much better.

        I didn’t think much about it, but that is pretty cool that I celebrated that way. Of course, there was that fro yo tacked on at the end…

        That story is so true, and that cop was so crooked. He actually said, “Now, Mary, you know you’re a little intoxicated.” And the reason he made it my fault is because he said I was not on the shoulder because of the skid marks. Only thing was, I had gotten out of my car to make sure I was on the shoulder. And duh, her car made skid marks when she hit me. I really believe God saved me in that whole situation.

        But I don’t hate all of Oklahoma LOL! It is actually a beautiful state. And I AM going to visit someday, I swear I am!

        Ooh, glad you liked the custard oats! Did they hold you for a while? Sometimes they hold me all morning, and other times only for three hours.

        Thanks again for the award. I actually had fun answering those questions.

  6. I don’t even know where to start with this post. First off, regarding Noah – you aren’t the problem. It’s just that you need to learn a different way to work with Noah and you have set yourself on a path to do that now, which is to be commended! You need to reframe that 😀

    Another thing we have in common – the swearing LOL! I swear like crazy in private. It’s really hard to reign that in, though, with family. I have had a couple oopsies around the nieces….

    I really commend you for being a nurse. That is one tough job. Unappreciated, underpaid, and under thanked.

    • LOL, I had a couple of oopsies with my nieces too when they were little!

      Well, don’t worry about me, I’m not taking that personally about it being ‘my’ fault with Noah. Although I appreciate your thought on re-framing it. Mostly I like to learn from every situation in life, and believe me I am learning a lot. I am actually excited about learning to be a better dog mom. Funny how I thought I knew plenty from going to training classes when I was a teenager. Just like I benefited so much from Vicky even though I thought I knew ‘everything,’ I know I will learn a lot from the coaching in being a better ‘pack leader.’

  7. It sounds like things are coming up daisies out there. I’m so happy you’ve found a good trainer who has confidence that she can get Noah to be all that he should be. And that she’s so relatively close and will take care of him during your vacay.

    Your road trip to OK does sound so scary. I don’t like driving by myself in the dark even when the car is working fine, but can’t imagine a dead engine, a drunken car basher, marijuana offering kidnappers, and an off track policeman. (It does make for a good tale, lo these many years after, though!).

    Good for you for getting back on track with your workout and your tracking. Keep it up and we’ll turn things around together. I thought I’d never get it turned around, but, with the help of you all, I think I have!

  8. I must be hungry – I clicked on that chicken recipe link and now can’t get it out of my mind!

    Saying you are the problem with Noah isn’t right…sometimes dogs just need someone else to get them in line. I liken it to parenting…there are times when an ornery, active child just wears you down and then they go see someone who is fresh (read: not exhausted by their antics) and they shape up quick. End result is both parties are better off – glad Noah is getting straightened out, and you are getting a break.

    Your OK story is awful!!! So glad you survived that – what a hellish experience.

    I hope today is going well for you…looking forward to meeting up with you next month (email coming soon!).

    • Ooh, I’m so excited for our meet-up. And yes, that chicken is DELISH. Sometimes I go along for months or years just eating plain meat, and that marinade was absolutely fantastic. well worth the extra calories. I had it on salad today.

  9. going to have my girls read the oklahoma story. and how old were you when it happened please? (that is the first thing they will ask me).

    I can’t tell you how often when there is a problem with a child – it is actually the mother – so I totally identify with with Noah stuff. We react out of our own history or something. and the most important part of dealing with that to everyone’s empowerment – is recognizing it! So very good job on finding yourself a clearer perspective to help you over the bump.

    I so sympathize with sleep problems. trouble falling asleep or staying asleep is my radar warning symptom – all is not well – all is not well.

    was very glad to hear from you – missed you.

    • Vickie, I answered your questions on your blog. But just in case you didn’t see, I was about 25 years old. But as I said a very innocent 25. I only got my driver’s license when I was 23, and I still lived with my mother.

      Yes also on the ‘reacting out of our own history.’ I realized that I have FOREVER NOT wanted any conflict with other dogs or people, wanting to keep my dogs and others safe. Which I have done very effectively. But it ends up with my ‘fear’ being communicated to the dogs, which makes them less socialized than ever. I am very very happy to get this help and a new perspective.

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