Checking In

Whoa.  Its been a week since I’ve posted!  And honestly, I still don’t have much to say.  Or rather, much I WANT to say.  Life is very good.  I am being very creative.  And I can’t believe I have this opportunity to spend this much time creating.  Its so much better than I even imagined.  Maybe that’s why I don’t have much to say.  Because, man, I sure have had plenty to say in the past!  I was looking through my archives to see if I complained about how dusty it was last August.  Didn’t spot any whining, but I found this funny post.  And I found a lot of talk about feeling old and having various aches and pains,  and being tired.

Which brings me to the one interesting thing I might have to say.  I keep saying, and its true, that I haven’t felt this good (physically) in a long time.  I feel very strong when I am walking/hiking.  I enjoy doing the weights when I get to the gym, and once I got back into the swing of swimming, I feel like I could go a lot longer than I do.  I’m not 100% sure, but I think I feel this good because I have pared back my exercising a bit.  I’m no longer trying to run.  If we take a morning walk (I have to admit that I’m not too motivated to take the morning walks between the deer flies and the dust) it is for 30 minutes, and our evening walks are usually 40 minutes.  I cut back on the super heavy weights I was doing, and am doing more reps on some of the exercises.  I limit my time on the weights to 30 minutes, and time in the pool is also 30 minutes.

But in contrast with that ‘feeling better than I’ve ever felt’ are the internal mini-freakouts screaming “I CANNOT BE THIS FAT!”  So there’s the conundrum.  Oh, that was a different conundrum.  which, BTW, I don’t eat those bars much any more.  I prefer these for my chocolate chip cookie fix.

Back to the freakout.  I don’t want to say the f– word twice in the same blog entry.  It brings up that question again, about whether or not vanity is a viable motivation for weight loss, or more importantly, weight loss maintenance.  Judging by the evidence–in blog land, celebrity land, and my own experience,–it seems the answer is no, vanity is not a viable motivation for weight loss.  Good health doesn’t even seem to be able to motivate people.  Maybe pain?  Is that a motivational factor?  Well, truth is, as always, its a very complex issue.

This article was very interesting to me.  If his theory is true–that  ‘obesity needs treatment forever,’ then the supporting information about how difficult it is for patients to stick with a treatment regimen for chronic disease is very sobering information indeed.  But you know what?  Its also encouraging to me.  Because I am continuing with my ‘treatment regimen’ for my ‘chronic disease.’  Still tracking what I eat.  Still choosing whole foods, with lots of fruits and veggies, especially this summer!  Still getting that exercise in mostly on a daily basis.  Right now I’m being very serious and weighing once a week (Saturday’s weigh in:  176.8)  Checking in regularly with my accountability partner.  And of course, usually chatting ad nauseum with you all about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat in the weight loss/maintenance journey.

13 thoughts on “Checking In

  1. You’re doing great! I love how strong and athletic you feel and I believe that is the biggest accomplishment. When you see progress and feel good about exercise, then it becomes more natural. Keep that up and the weight will come off too. I wish we had a pool here that was a close drive. I think swimming would be a lot of fun. I’m jealous :-)

    • Swimming IS fun. All the pre and post swim stuff is a pain in the butt. I don’t like wiggling into my suit beforehand, and drying off etc afterwards. But its fun while you’re in the pool!

  2. I think motivation evolves over time. One might start out with a motivation to look better, but then it might morph into wanting more energy, or warding off illness. And obviously not everyone is motivated by the same thing. I think it is a flowing, not-constant thing. Does that make sense?

    As for that article, I’d add a 3rd group – those who are IN treatment. I’m starting to realize that people are never really “cured” of being obese, you just learn how to manage it, but I think once you realize that, it is easier to deal with. Would you agree with that? I’m not even close to being in maintenance yet, so I’m just supposing here.

    I loved that not-hostile post!!! :)

    • Yep, I think you’re exactly right on the motivation changing and evolving. As far as I can tell, vanity WAS a big motivator for me for a while.

      And I agree about the ‘realizing people are never really cured of being obese’ (although there is always that vague wish to be a “normal girl.” But that’s kind of like the vague wish to have longer legs. That’s just not going to be a part of my life here on earth.)

      And I totally agree with learning how to manage it, accepting it, and it being easier. Like tracking my food. Its just no big deal to write down what i am eating on my piece of paper on the fridge. When people say they resent it or are tired of it, I think, “Really?” But that’s just me. That’s the part I’ve learned how to manage, the pill I’ve learned to take every day. That’s not to say that some days the food escapes being written down…

      • I think tracking food was so hard for me because I thought I had to do it perfectly every single day of my life!! Now that I’m much more relaxed about it, it seems like a no brainer!

  3. I was so excited for your retirement to arrive and just had a sense that you’d make that transition seamlessly. It seems that you have! There is a subtle air of change in your writing and at least for now, you seem very content. I just love reading your blog and sure wish someday, somehow we could meet.

    I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and remember most of those posts without even linking back to them. Isn’t it fun (not to mention sometimes quite convicting) to go back and reread earlier things you’ve written. Sometime I amaze myself at how profound I was and then immediately find another that instantly returns me to humility and makes me wonder what I was thinking when I hit “publish!”

    • LOL at your description of yourself and your writing–you could have been describing me!

      Yes this retirement thing is amazing. Totally loving it. Still finding my way/developing a rhythm to my days, and deciding how I want my life to look.

  4. I’m of the camp that not only does motivation ebb and flow but the factors which make us feel motivated ebb and flow and change. I think that’s why you’ll see people writing about their search for the cick or whatever.

    If you’re feeling good, and happy, and creative and all those other things, perhaps the rest will follow in it’s own good time. Seems as if you are at a very good place right now, so just enjoy that!

  5. Do you wonder if some of the physical good feelings you have are a direct result of not having mental fatigue after retiring?

    I hear you about the feeling good and feeling fat. I think “How can I possibly ride 100 miles and still be overweight??”

    • I definitely wondered about that (physical good feelings you have are a direct result of not having mental fatigue after retiring?) Even wondered if it was related to long hours just standing/on my feet, and/or the long drives to and from work. It could all be related.

  6. You know, after I did those killer workouts with my trainers/group, I didn’t think doing less would be effective…but it actually, surprisingly, IS. Huh. We don’t have to walk for 2 hours to get a good workout in, or burn out to the point of muscle pain. I think you are living an “active lifestyle” that all the reports talk about – well-rounded, satisfying, healthy. Good for you! Way more than most people are doing.

    As for the F word, I hear ya.

  7. Looks like you’re doing really well, to me. I wonder if we ever see our progress or ‘feel good’ times as enough, and then I wonder if we should or shouldn’t see it that way. Still undecided, but still motivated. :)

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