This afternoon I was bent over, carefully turning the beets I was roasting for my dinner salad. And the thought occurred to me, I eat really healthy. I am not always thinking that. A lot of times what I am thinking is why can’t I lose this weight? What’s wrong with me? Or on a really bad day What a failure. You’re a big fake.
But a lot of days what I think about this extra weight (currently 176) is “humility.” Maybe that’s what its all about. There is a verse in the middle of Colossians 3 that I have memorized.
“Since you are the holy people that God has chosen to love, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
At the time when I was memorizing it and thinking about the meaning of the words, I figured that humility was the central word in that list, and it was central to all those other good qualities. You couldn’t be kind or gentle or patient, or have tenderhearted mercy if you were not humble. Humility is not something that comes naturally to me. Heck, none of those character traits comes NATURALLY to me.
So maybe that’s what this extra weight is about. Keeping me humble. I sure can’t brag about being a super-loser. Right now I can’t even seem to lose 8 measly pounds. I never reached my goal weight at Weight Watchers. I haven’t even mastered “maintenance” after working on it for five years. Not everything looks good on me. I have to look a little harder to find clothes that fit.
But when I have a thought like that “I eat healthy,” that is something I can take courage in. That is taking care of this “earthen vessel” (2 Cor. 4:7) as best I can. Yesterday I took a walk. Everything hurt. But I just kept walking. Today I had a break between appointments, and I went to the gym, got in the pool and ran back and forth for a half hour–first time I did that (no swimming) and it worked out pretty good–no wet hair to deal with! I looked at Vicky’s offerings, and chose one of the lower calorie items for my lunch.
Then I went to the dentist where the dental hygienist WORKED OVER my teeth–ack. Afterward I treated myself to a small frosty. Most worthy and most deserved. But not perfect. Humility.