A New Year’s Day List

The day after I flew home on the plane I was sitting in church writing a different kind of list.  This time I was thinking about the kind of person I wanted to be.

Most of all I want to live a balanced  healthful life.  WITHOUT ANGST.

I want to be

  • Active.
  • Creative.
  • Spiritual.
  • Generous.
  • Joyful.

I want to be all of these things.  I want them to be balanced in my life.  I even wrote “If being a little heavier is part of this, so be it.”  Now I don’t think that that’s necessarily so.  Cause honestly, my joints are telling me every day that I can’t be heavy AND active.

It feels so good to say that I WANT to be active.  For a very long time it was just something I did to stave off the inevitability of weight regain.  But finally, I am realizing that it is something I WANT.  One of the highlights of my trip was going to the gym for a weights workout with my brother.  As always, he gave me some good tips on correct form.  But this time I also knew what I wanted to do, and what I was capable of doing.  That was fun.  We also got in plenty of long walks.  And since I’ve been home, I have been consistently very active, just cause I wanted to!  Who’d a’thunk it?

This is all tied in to spending time in a town where I weighed some of my highest (234) and lowest (124) weights when I lived there 30 years ago!  The past month or so I have seen women my current age who are really struggling physically due to being overweight.  And I have seen young women who are as overweight as I was when I started this last weight loss journey.  I’ve been in all these places and so many in between.

I guess that’s why I want to live that “balanced healthful life without angst.”  No more worrying about ‘going back.’  I might not ever be the ‘ideal’ weight for my height.  But part of my self-definition is now ‘active.’  I like that.

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11 thoughts on “A New Year’s Day List

  1. I love your list and all point to the overall theme of consistently striving to become better while at the same time, simply being content with who we are and resting in the one who knows better than we ever will, what BOTH those things are!!

  2. I’m sort of in the same spot. I want to be healthy inside and out, and that may not be a size 6. But if I can be a size 12, be as active as I want, not feel deprived, and not wake every morning feeling like my weight means more than it does with all sorts of nasty mean thoughts, THAT is what I see as healthy. That’s my goal! 😉

  3. ” But this time I also knew what I wanted to do, and what I was capable of doing. That was fun.”

    This. So important. I love that you want to be active, too. That really shows a change in the mind.

  4. What a great realization! To realize that you are different, in a good way. I’m striving for that day. The day when I realize that I’m a different person than I used to be.

  5. I chuckled a little when I read the “I want to be…” in front of this list. Because like Shelley B & Cammy, I see you as being all of those things *right now*. But I can sure understand seeking new ways to keeping up your “you-ness.”

  6. Love your post. Being active is key which I think opens the door to many other things other than weight loss. I’m working toward making it routine myself

  7. As is probably obvious, after an absence, I’m checking in on you. Love your lists, in this post and the last. Memorizing chunks of Bible, eh? I’m impressed.

    Oh, and I’m with Shelley. You’ve had me fooled that you’re already all the things listed on this post.

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