Tonight I am too full.  I find that very disappointing.  It makes me not want to write on here.  I had a fun subject all composed in my mind, and then I ate too much today.  I could pretend that I hadn’t, and just write what I had been planning.  But that seems dishonest.  And not fun anymore.

To be fair, I was going to say at the end (of what I originally was planning to write) that being overfull was something that still occasionally happens, and that I do not like at all.  So there.  I guess I got it out of the way at the beginning and I can go ahead and write about what I originally planned to write about.

Yesterday I mentioned being amused by the contents of my basket at Costco.  Honestly, in the distant past, it would have contained some kind of baked treat, some candy, and some type of processed frozen food.  Thursday it contained green beans, butternut squash, pears, mangos, and yogurt.  I carefully considered each item–did I need it?  Some of them I bought ‘as a treat, ‘ like I would have done with the three pound bag of candy in the past.

Yesterday I needed to clean out my high shelf (wanted to put that trail mix up high like Lori does to see if that works.)  I took down a bunch of boxes of cereal, a box of crackers that had never been opened, and FIVE boxes of cake mixes.  All of them way out of date.  But all of them bought at some time when I was well on the way of my weight loss journey.  And that’s what made me think of the word “evolution.”  There really has been an evolution in the foods I eat.  But it has been a slow slow process.  The cake mixes really made me think.  What on earth did I need all those cake mixes for?  Well, that was the ‘lo-cal, lo-fat’ treat that I substituted for some of my other regular consumptions, like brownies and chocolate chip cookies.  You could mix those cake mixes with beans or diet 7-up to make some pretty tasty desserts.  I wonder if I would have stayed the course if I had not had those cake mix treats to fill in the gap.  That evolution was a S-L-0-W process.  The cereal and the crackers weren’t necessarily bad.  But in the evolutionary process, they, along with the cake mixes,  went by the wayside when I started working with Vicky, and started eliminating most processed foods.

I think one of the most important things during the WHOLE evolutionary process was educating myself.  Not taking someone else’s word for it.  But reading a lot, comparing research, trying certain things.  Learning what worked for me and what didn’t.  NOT throwing away anything I learned along the way.  Using all that knowledge as a base to make decisions about how/what/when to eat.  How much and what exercise to do.  I’m still learning.  I learned something from Vicky’s lecture the other night.

As this evolutionary process has allowed me to lose a large amount of weight and maintain a good chunk of that weight loss, I am aware that the evolutionary ladder could swing the other direction and I could ‘evolve’ right back into the very overweight woman that I once was.  That is why I am distressed when I am too full.  I really really do not like the feeling itself, and to me it signals that I might be heading in the wrong direction.  So far I seem to self-correct the very next day, thank goodness.

The other thing that I have currently identified, and am working on, is that feeling that I am ‘bad’ when all I have done is THINK about eating something.  I am trying not to identify foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’  And to not think of myself as ‘bad’ when I think of those foods.  There is certainly nothing wrong IMO with identifying foods as worthy or unworthy based on their nutritional value.  Man, if we were to eat all of the nutritious foods that are recommended by some experts all day every day, there would be no question of choosing ‘unworthy’ foods.’ We would definitely be too full.  But we are ‘defective,’ as this doctor so cleverly points out.  Check it out.  That is a good article.


7 thoughts on “Evolution

  1. “Go out and do something ordinary, several times in a row” – that is exactly what this whole weight loss/maintenance thing is. Great article. I also appreciate how he points out that we all blame ourselves for our health failings…glad I’m not alone in that. Although I wish I wouldn’t instantly do it – I have enough guilt, dang it!

    I don’t like that overly full feeling either. Brings back too many feelings of the old days. Sometimes I’ll even feel like that if I’ve had a lot of water, and then I have to remind myself that I haven’t done any real damage even though it feels like I did.

  2. I’m so glad you decided to write this. I too am struggling right now – at a place where I’m afraid I’m going to devolve and I so much want to continue evolving. It’s good that you sat and thought about where you’ve come from. I think that ultimately helps and keeps one in a forward momentum.

    I hope you’re feeling better today.

  3. What an excellent written post so helpful to all of us. For me, I’m already seeing some of that evolution you speak of in the way that I catch myself making good choices naturally as opposed to having to talk myself into it because it’s the right thing to do. Such a rewarding feeling to think back later and realize I chose to eat something because that’s exactly what I wanted and it just happened to be an excellent, healthy choice.

    Just yesterday I experience that “too full” feeling after eating lunch at Red Lobster (hub’s choice). Even though I had broiled lobster and grilled shrimp, I ate all of it when I should’ve taken a portion home for later. Good food, but too much quantity and like you say, I really don’t want to feel that discomfort anymore.

  4. Most excellent post. I get that feeling sometimes where I am reading food blogs or looking up recipes feeling some guilt like I will gain just from doing that. Ugh!

    Evolution is slow and barely noticeable until something really jars the reality. Like being overly full, or sometimes seeing someone else’s grocery cart next to your own and realizing that used to be you.

  5. Every time I eat I’m too full. It seems like I’m not finished until I feel full – not just satisfied. This has been a hard one for me to deal with.

    I haven’t even begun to evolve. I’m still a cave (wo)man.

  6. HI Debby!

    I just awarded you The Versatile Blogger award! Just pop on over to my blog and read the details and grab your button. Don’t forget to read the little blurb i wrote about your blog!
    Hugs! deb

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