Tonight I am too full. I find that very disappointing. It makes me not want to write on here. I had a fun subject all composed in my mind, and then I ate too much today. I could pretend that I hadn’t, and just write what I had been planning. But that seems dishonest. And not fun anymore.
To be fair, I was going to say at the end (of what I originally was planning to write) that being overfull was something that still occasionally happens, and that I do not like at all. So there. I guess I got it out of the way at the beginning and I can go ahead and write about what I originally planned to write about.
Yesterday I mentioned being amused by the contents of my basket at Costco. Honestly, in the distant past, it would have contained some kind of baked treat, some candy, and some type of processed frozen food. Thursday it contained green beans, butternut squash, pears, mangos, and yogurt. I carefully considered each item–did I need it? Some of them I bought ‘as a treat, ‘ like I would have done with the three pound bag of candy in the past.
Yesterday I needed to clean out my high shelf (wanted to put that trail mix up high like Lori does to see if that works.) I took down a bunch of boxes of cereal, a box of crackers that had never been opened, and FIVE boxes of cake mixes. All of them way out of date. But all of them bought at some time when I was well on the way of my weight loss journey. And that’s what made me think of the word “evolution.” There really has been an evolution in the foods I eat. But it has been a slow slow process. The cake mixes really made me think. What on earth did I need all those cake mixes for? Well, that was the ‘lo-cal, lo-fat’ treat that I substituted for some of my other regular consumptions, like brownies and chocolate chip cookies. You could mix those cake mixes with beans or diet 7-up to make some pretty tasty desserts. I wonder if I would have stayed the course if I had not had those cake mix treats to fill in the gap. That evolution was a S-L-0-W process. The cereal and the crackers weren’t necessarily bad. But in the evolutionary process, they, along with the cake mixes, went by the wayside when I started working with Vicky, and started eliminating most processed foods.
I think one of the most important things during the WHOLE evolutionary process was educating myself. Not taking someone else’s word for it. But reading a lot, comparing research, trying certain things. Learning what worked for me and what didn’t. NOT throwing away anything I learned along the way. Using all that knowledge as a base to make decisions about how/what/when to eat. How much and what exercise to do. I’m still learning. I learned something from Vicky’s lecture the other night.
As this evolutionary process has allowed me to lose a large amount of weight and maintain a good chunk of that weight loss, I am aware that the evolutionary ladder could swing the other direction and I could ‘evolve’ right back into the very overweight woman that I once was. That is why I am distressed when I am too full. I really really do not like the feeling itself, and to me it signals that I might be heading in the wrong direction. So far I seem to self-correct the very next day, thank goodness.
The other thing that I have currently identified, and am working on, is that feeling that I am ‘bad’ when all I have done is THINK about eating something. I am trying not to identify foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ And to not think of myself as ‘bad’ when I think of those foods. There is certainly nothing wrong IMO with identifying foods as worthy or unworthy based on their nutritional value. Man, if we were to eat all of the nutritious foods that are recommended by some experts all day every day, there would be no question of choosing ‘unworthy’ foods.’ We would definitely be too full. But we are ‘defective,’ as this doctor so cleverly points out. Check it out. That is a good article.