Yesterday I drove home from Oregon. All day I drove home from Oregon. Still I was happy and hopeful to be getting home. Then I missed the main turn off the freeway. Still, I took the next turn and counted it as an adventure that I could find my way through an unfamiliar part of Sacramento to get to the ROAD GOING HOME. And then I saw blinking lights. And signs that said GO ANOTHER WAY. I ended up having to backtrack and go an hour out of my way just as I was on THE HOME STRETCH. 12 hours of driving in all. Still, how lucky am I that I can take off at a whim and go to visit my best friend in Oregon? I have the resources to have my dogs taken care of while I am gone (I think Noah enjoys my trips more than I do!)
Still. Today I am left feeling unsettled and down. Dare I say depressed? Its embarrassing to be depressed (see above note about how fortunate I am.) I think of all the things that need to be done, and all the things I am not doing because I am “depressed.” So I just do the next thing. Sometimes it is not the “priority” thing that needs to be done. Sometimes it is not even the most fun thing that could be done. Still, it is something that would need to be done sooner or later. And though it does not make me particularly joyful and happy at the time I am doing it, I know that sooner or later it will bring me a sense of satisfaction that that chore has been done.
This morning it is sweeping the patio stones out the front door (why I like doing this I am not sure.) Laundry of course. And sitting down to do a little reading. I glanced through a new Hobby Farm Home magazine, and there was a touching article about a young mother caring for her son with autism. Oh my. This life I am living is pretty simple. Sophie is happy. She has found a small corner of sun to sleep in. Monk is happy, in his usual chair. Bess is on her usual perch on the back of the dog bed underneath my desk. And Noah seems content to be guarding the outdoors. I look down and my black nightie is covered in Monk’s short tan hairs. Because he loves me and I love him. Life is good. I will do the next thing and make it through this day just fine.