I Like Me

I like me.

I like me, being what no one else can be.

Yes, I like me.

I had a little cross-stitched pillow with this saying on it. I started thinking about it when I thought about this topic. I couldn’t find it to take a picture for you guys. Either buried in clutter, or eaten by dogs. Either way, that’s a completely different post.

Back to what it says–“I like me.” The last set of AIM posts got me to thinking about this. Forgive me if this has been written about elsewhere, but I don’t recall that it has:

What if “self-acceptance” is a key component when it comes to long-term weight loss maintenance?

The National Weight Control Registry is often quoted by the experts as the definitive gathering of information on what it takes to maintain weight loss. I am a member of that society, so I know the questions they ask to gather this information. They don’t ask any questions about your psyche. I think that they would say that, as scientists, that kind of data is hard to quantify. Its simpler to say things like

    • 78% eat breakfast every day.
    • 75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
    • 62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
    • 90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.

Its not so easy to report what these weight loss maintainers think about themselves.

But it seems to me, in all my reading, that the people who have been successful at maintaining their weight loss either went into it already thinking well of themselves, or else they did a lot of work during the weight loss or after they reached “goal” on self-acceptance, or “liking themselves.”

I was very overweight for a very very very long time. I was one of the lucky ones. I had parents who loved me and thought I was clever. They encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be– “you can do anything you want to do with your life.” And then when I got to that age where you have to decide for yourself what you really believe about yourself, I worked very hard at “being content in whatever state I was in” (Phil. 4:12) and believing that God made me the way I was ON PURPOSE, and he liked me this way. Egads. Could there be a bigger ego booster than that?

I didn’t like being fat. I didn’t like looking for clothes that would just “cover me up.” I didn’t like being tired and sore all the time. But for sure I liked me.

I do read quite frequently the story about the (usually younger) woman, who thinks her life will be wonderful, and she will finally love herself (because everyone else will love this thinner person,) and they are devastated when they get there and find out it is not the golden ring after all. And many many times they regain all the weight that they lost. This young blogger wrote very well about this experience here. Fortunately for her, she recognized the problem, and worked on it before she regained the weight.

Anyway, its just something to think about, whether you are starting on your weight loss journey, or you are “maintaining.” Do you like yourself?

16 thoughts on “I Like Me

  1. Debby, you have hit the nail on the head. Eleven years ago, I was at goal weight, and hit my WW lifetime status for the second time … had worked very hard to lose and get where I wanted to be. I thought that finally, I would be happy with myself if I were thin. Didn’t take long to find out that it wasn’t true. I recognized the problem, but didn’t know how to overcome it — and my WW leader was no help. As a result, I gained back the 50 pounds I had lost, plus more. Worst thing is that the weight gain was intentional, I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING TO MYSELF. But I didn’t care because I knew that being thin wasn’t the answer to being happy. And today, here I sit …about 60 pounds up, having taken several stabs at weight loss again over the years, but where is the motivation? I know that in the end, I will still not have that self-acceptance in a smaller body. I know society glorifies thinness … doctors say it is healthier … but if I’m not going to love myself, why should I care? And when I can’t control the frustration and chaos around me, I take it out in what I eat. It’s classic self-destruction. I KNOW how to lose, I know what works. I curse myself every day for being fat. Would I like to be thin? YES, of course! Do I love myself enough to do it? That’s a different story … and the struggle continues.

    • Wow, Cyndi, thanks for sharing. I so wish I could do something, but of course, that’s the point. YOU have to like you. I wish the best for you. Thank you so much for sharing so honestly, and keep in touch.

      • Thanks, Debby. Hoping someday I’ll figure it out. The irony is that I’m a positive and upbeat person, and always try to help OTHER people feel good about themselves! And yet I don’t do the same for myself. It’s part of the disease, I suspect … Anyway, thanks for the thought-provoking post, and for helping me to look this devil in the face.

  2. I like you too. 🙂 And to be honest, I’m pretty smitten with myself these days. I just need to do a whole post on how I’m feeling, but the condensed version is: I’m at ease with myself these days. I still have a lot of “body work” to do, but my head is in a much better place and it feels so nice to NOT be at war with myself. I think self-acceptance is a component of long term weight loss but it’s not easily attained if you don’t already have it.
    Excellent post Debs!! 🙂

  3. I guess I have an advantage over some as I was thin when I was younger. Over the years I have learned to accept my faults and work on things to make myself better but I know I am a good person and I don’t need others approval to accept myself.
    My struggle is to be a healthier person. 6 years ago I lot 60 pounds and felt so much better and realized it was gluten and milk allergies causing me so much pain and fratigue. But gradually I have gained 40 pounds back. I have given up wheat and dairy. 3 months ago I gave up sweets. Food is not enjoyable anymore. Going out to eat is a chore as it is hard to find something I can eat and the pain I feel when I don’t eat correctly makes it not worth it.
    After 3 months of cutting sugar I am down 2 pounds! Very frustrating. I know I need to find more time to exercise but I am really having a hard time with it.
    But, I have more energy and I can feel it when I snitch so I keep after it. I may not be thin but I do feel the benefits.
    Thank you for blogs that help me look at myself, keep me motivated and find the positive things in myself

    • Of course, as a foodie, it bothers me a LOT to hear you say that “food is not enjoyable any more.” There is a lot of good food out there in the world. I hope you can find some that you can still enjoy while maintaining your good health.

      I am curious. When you were at your lowest weight, did you ever eat gluten or dairy and still feel pain and fatigue?

  4. Ooooh, Debby, quite the thought provoking post here. I’ve lost and regained a number of times, but I don’t think it was because I didn’t like myself. At the time, I did. Really have no idea whether I’ll be able to maintain this time as I am still on the way down. There is a niggling fear there, but knowing you and others have done so helps. Gaining confidence in, “yeah, I can live like this happily long-term” also helps. I’ll have to ponder some more.

    • Yes, I didn’t include that in this post. I think liking yourself is just one component of successful maintenance. I also lost and regained a bunch of times. I didn’t understand that I had to learn how to eat differently FOREVER. And so that was why I stopped trying to lose weight for about 20 years. I liked myself, and believed that God liked me, and that was the way it was going to be!

  5. I made the decision a couple of years ago that I would learn to like myself NO MATTER WHAT I weighed. For years I let my weight keep me from participation in many fun things and in life in general. This year I have been working on just looking at the number on the scale as just that – a random number – and not a complete definition of who I am. It’s harder than you think to do that, but I keep working on it.

    I already do all those things the maintainers do so I suppose if I can ever get off the weight I want to, I’ll have a good chance at maintenance!

  6. I have always liked myself – who wouldn’t! LOL 😀 Okay, in all seriousness, many people eat out of self loathing. Even controlling food will only get you so far if you don’t like the person. Those people think they don’t like the fat when what they really don’t like is themselves.

    Those questions always crack me up with the percentage stuff and how many times do you eat broccoli in a week and if you ate eggs, did you eat them with toast or without. How many times a week? Blah, blah

  7. Wow, that really is food for thought. I’ve always had low self-esteem and, while I personally like myself, many people have tried to change me over the years which is always a hit to self-esteem. That hasn’t really been too helpful. It’s no wonder I regained the weight so many times along with having no idea how to maintain a weight loss.

  8. First I like you too! You are sweet and you have great posts to read and of course lovely dogs.

    I like myself too, always have. I don’t like the weight I have now but that doesn’t mean I don’t like who I am and doesn’t stop me from doing things. I find it sad that people think they will be happy at goal weight because usually something else is the reason why they are unhappy and sometimes overweight is a result of being unhappy.

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