The big day had finally arrived! The day I was looking forward to almost more than any other day. The appliances would be delivered, and I was most of all excited about getting the new side by side refrigerator/freezer. With an ice maker and filtered water that would come out of the door!
The boys arrived with their delivery, and as I usually do, I tried to stay out of their way by working in my studio. When they said they were ready for me to transfer my food from my old refrigerator, I came around the corner to see my bright shiny new refrigerator. Oh, it was pretty! First I transferred the food from the refrigerator. Then I got to transferring the food from the freezer. What the what??? Because the unit was put in place against a wall, the freezer door would not open all the way. You all know how I love my batch cooking and baking and having my supply of individually portioned frozen foods at the ready. The freezer was the thing I was absolutely the most excited about. And I could hardly get into it. I said something to the delivery boys, and they nodded in sympathy and said, “yeah, that’s what happens when you put it against the wall,” like that was what a lot of people had to deal with. So I paid them and said good bye to my old refrigerator (which, by the way, there was basically nothing wrong with, which compounded my feeling of misery “what have I done?”)
I waited for J. the contractor to return from lunch, and sent a quick text to Shelley “I’m right to be upset, right?” And I told poor J. as he walked in the door “I am so unhappy.”
Long story short, I called the local appliance store, where the owner reassured me, “come on in, we’ll make this right.” I did go in, and all that will fit in my space is a very plain freezer on bottom type. No fancy water in the door. He will install an ice maker in there, which, I’m not sure how much ice I need, since I usually keep one tray for about a month…
It all made me sad and sorry for myself. It just proves that I still have a small kitchen. Adding to that was that it wasn’t much of a change from my old fridge. Why was I spending this much money??
And then I did what I always do. “Think about those less fortunate than you.” “I don’t want to think about those people.” “How silly to be upset over a new freezer in a new kitchen. How spoiled are you?” All these thoughts and more swirled in my head.
I talked to J. about a different little issue in the bathroom. “I know,” he said. And he explained how he would fix it, and then said “and there’s no extra charge for that.” That made me laugh so hard. It started a crack in my pity party.
And then I did think about my friends in Haiti. How Pastor Gilbert LOVES ice cream. So the first time we went to Haiti, we bought some ice cream and brought it back and put it in his freezer. And how the next day, it was soup, because, yeah, they don’t have electricity all the time. And that’s just the way it is.
And then I thought about a line my pastor said on Sunday that had made me laugh at the time, and here it was–application for me. He was talking about how God had rescued the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, and when things got a little rough in the wilderness, they whined, “we should go back. They had better fish there.” It made me laugh Sunday, but it made me laugh even more at myself today.
I am thinking tonight about all the things I am so grateful for. Shelley has held my hand via text almost all the way through this. J. the contractor is always patient and kind and does beautiful work. MLG has helped in several of the moving heavy objects kind of things, and in fact is coming tomorrow to help set the very heavy sink.
Shelley says I have “short-timer’s syndrome,” and I think she’s right. I’m so tired of wandering around looking for stuff, and tired of having to go to the bathtub to wash my hands or brush my teeth. Tonight the little dogs had to wait half an hour for their dinner while I looked and looked for their dog food bowls. But you know, in the light of all that’s truly important in this world… no words necessary.