I’ve been thinking about this since Christmas, when I ate more cookies than I should have, and I made the discovery that sugar leads to more sugar, leads to me wanting more sugar, leads to I WANT SUGAR NOW GIVE ME MY SUGAR, IMUSTHAVESUGARNOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW. Really, I don’t know how I didn’t know this before. I mean, I had an inkling that it might be a problem, and so, a lot of times I was choosing sugar free stuff on purpose, but somehow, something deep and internal has been learned.
But I digress. What I have been thinking about is that question my sister asked last summer: “Did your tastes change?” And I really thought they hadn’t. I still crave and love good food. I had just discovered different food. But I think she is right. My tastes did change. But it took a lot of time. And I think it was a very gradual process for me. So when I started, and I said, no more to unlimited sweets, no more to big giant brownies, etc., suddenly a Luna bar named German Chocolate Brownie seemed like such a good deal to me. Or a Fiber One bar with little chocolate chips. So before when I would have tasted these things and would have compared them to a ‘real’ brownie and a ‘real’ chocolate chip cookie, of course they would have come up deficient and been discarded as not worthy. But now, since the ‘real’ things were essentially not available anymore (by my choice) it seemed delightful to me that I could ‘indulge’ in these treats. And of course, since then, I have further changed and challenged my taste buds to enjoy even healthier treats, such as the ‘La Raw’ bars made only with dates, walnuts, and cocoa powder. But it has taken a lot of time. I am approaching the four year mark since starting this journey.
And that is the thing I notice all over blogland, and even closer to home with friends and acquaintances. If a person is extremely successful and loses the weight quickly, either via discipline or surgery, they still have a lot of ‘work’ to do, whether it be in learning to eat well, or exercise, or accepting their imperfect body, or internalizing the fact that they are no longer fat. That stuff just takes time. I think it takes about four years…Ha! since that is where I am right now. But just recently, I have begun to feel so much more confident about the permanence of this change. Just recently I have begun to think of myself as an athletic person (that is still not something I would say out loud to anybody. But I do think it, at least.) I actually always said that when I had maintained for 5 years, I could consider myself in remission. So that time is still a long way off.
Some of the blogs that entered into this thought process: Lynn wrote a great post this morning about running into the dark for your weight loss quest and coming back with something bigger and better than you expected—she related it to her dog going out to chase a toy and coming back with a dead possum! You have to read this post! And this guy has a GREAT weight loss success story (130 pounds in one year on W.W.!,) and has even run a 50 mile marathon, and yet admits to struggling with the ‘fat guy’ in his head. And, of course, Lori, who has been so successful, and yet admits to the sugar monster roaring pretty fierce, and all my friends out there who are still struggling with this thing, whatever it is. But as Linda put it: NEVER GIVE UP! This sounds so simple, but it struck me as profound. If you really adopted that, NEVER give up, you eventually would be living a healthier life, wouldn’t you?
debby weighs in 
I heart you a bunch, you know that, right? Time…it really is all about time. When my first husband died, people said “time heals all wounds.” I found out that’s a big fat (pardon the pun) lie. Time isn’t meant to heal. Time allows us to learn, grow perspective, mull things and adopt ideas and morph into the people we want, and often need, to become. Patience truly is a virtue.
Thanks for the links! Especially the one to cocoa LaRaw thingies. Where has that woman’s blog been all my WW life? lol
What a great post. Thanks for this, especially as I’m just coming off the holiday sugar-overload IWANTSUGARNOWGIVEMESUGAR merry-go-round myself. Time to get back to basics! And if you look at it the way you do–it does take time, time, TIME. . . then I guess there’s no rush to go and lose all the weight. (But maybe half? I’d love even half!!). Thanks for giving the LaRaw bars a try–and glad you like them! I’m at the point where I like them even more than the packaged stuff, if you can believe it (but not more than other homemade sweets, unfortunately).
Have a great New Year!
Very wise post. It never really ends, and interesting how the old habits can hang around just under the surface ready to come out.
You’re doing it, though!
You’re so funny with the sugar thing!! I used to beat myself up when I couldn’t go cold turkey with the sugar after Christmas, but now I realize I have to wean myself off of it for a few days before I finally feel like I can handle it.
Also this year I realized that you never “arrive” when it comes to weight loss/maintnenance. It is a lifelong thing – adjusting and changing to meet the current circumstance. I used to think I could lose 40 pounds in 12 weeks, and if I didn’t – I would call myself a loser over and over again. But now I know I’ll be working on this until I’m 80, and that’s okay with me.
I kinda got off on a tangent there, huh? Anyway, I am so inspired by you and I am so proud of all the changes you have made. =)
That sugar thing is SO TRUE.
And thanks for putting links to those blogs up; I’ve already checked a couple out, and they’re awesome!
I admire you so much for making this a true, longterm, lifestyle change. You’ve done great; and this post really shows the reality of what it’s like to go through a true transformation. Have a great New Years Eve!