“Thin enough.” That’s how I described myself after seeing the trailer for The Quilt Show episode that I am going to be featured in this coming Monday. There are so many layers to those two little words. Because “thin” is not a word any normal person would use to describe me. At 5 ft. 1/4 inch, with my weight regularly fluctuating between 155 and 168, thin just doesn’t come to mind.
But following up on yesterday’s post, I am working on being satisfied with the weight I am. I am fast approaching 60 years of age (I KNOW, I can’t believe it either 🙂 ). I don’t want to spend the next 20 or so years being unhappy with myself.
I also feel a little pressure to meet a certain expectation–after all, this blog is about “living a whole and healthy life.” And on The Quilt Show blog, I am a semi-regular contributor as “The Healthy Quilter.” I think that pressure is a good thing–a form of accountability that I can’t escape. So I was relieved to see that I looked “thin enough” (and healthy enough) on camera.
I went to the doctor last week. We talked about my ongoing knee pain (yay–finally got the referral to go back to the ortho doc) and I told her all the things I am doing–walking, riding the exercise bike, P.T. exercises. And she said mildly, “well, maybe you should lose a little weight.” I took no offense at her statement. Its a good idea. Its just a little more complex than that. Because really what she should say is “maybe you should LIVE at a lower weight.” And to live at a lower weight would mean restricting my food intake to a degree that I am unwilling or unable to do at this time. I reminded her that it was not on her computer record that I had lost 100 pounds before she became my doctor. I’m not sure that meant anything to her. And so for now, even as a person who is facing eventual knee replacement surgery, I am thin enough.
Anyway, it is a very good feeling (make no mistake, I don’t feel like this 100 percent of the time) to be content with the way I look. Sometimes I try to think about what my perception as a 20 year old was of what a 60 year old woman should look like. I think I look better than that 🙂
Thin enough is definitely a term that needs to be seen in perspective. For a woman who spent well over 20 years weighing 257 pounds, I am thin enough.
debby weighs in 
We live in a very strange world of perception. I just read an article about Gene Simmons daughter saying that as a size 8-10 she has been described in print as “plus size”. I also have been working on being thin enough following a weight loss of 114 pounds. It’s strange to not be morbidly obese any more and I’m really struggling with it.
Congratulations on your weight loss! That’s wonderful.
AMEN. What a refreshing thing to read. You are not only thin enough, you are enough…period. Loving your self-acceptance and confidence as you approach your milestone birthday (and knowing you, I just have to say that if this is what 60 is like, then bring it on, because you seem ageless to me).
Thanks–see comment to Lori. Also, you made me LBC (laugh before coffee) calling me ageless. That’s gonna carry me through Thursday 🙂
Debby, I have followed your blog for a long time, just don’t post much. The most recent pictures that you have posted of yourself the first thing that came to my mind is how slender and healthy you looked and wanting to be there someday. Being happy with where you are is such a peaceful state of mind, good for the spirit.
Lynn
Thank you Lynn. Its always good to hear from you.
Yes, you are (thin enough)! I’m where you are both age wise and weight wise. It would be easy to put on weight, but to take off would take some monumental changes. I think we should both be happy!
That was another thing Dr. Sharma pointed out. He stated how most people put on about 5 pounds a year (after a certain age.) And if you are just able to maintain, and not put those pounds on, you are already way ahead of the game.
You know that you are a lucky woman because you are happy with how you look. There are so many woman in the world who aren’t and who are constantly unhappy about that, I think that’s sad. It’s refreshing to read a blog by someone who is happy with her looks.
Thanks, Fran. Yes, it upsets me when I hear women denigrate themselves solely based on what they weigh.
You are enough – more than enough! The weight is something we place too much emphasis on like it alone measures our true worth, when we all know it is the person inside.
The realization of that is such an important step in weight loss and – more importantly- in maintenance. Knowing that balance between happy and miserable to stay ‘enough”.
You know, as I was writing, that flitted through my mind. That part of what I am thinking about is that I DON’T want to be defined by my weight. That I am more than that, and those other parts are way more important than my physical shell. Thanks for bringing this up in the comments.
YOU are enough – thin is just the bonus. Also, as said in The Help, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” I am so glad to read you are awakening to your own unique beauty!
I LOVE The Help!!
“And to live at a lower weight would mean restricting my food intake to a degree that I am unwilling or unable to do at this time.” Good for you for seeing past your doctors remark about losing weight and KNOWING what will work for yourself!
I’m really struggling with accepting myself at this weight. Sometimes I’m okay with it and other times (like now) it just bugs the crap out of me. Logically, I know that I am enough as is, but emotionally I feel like I could be so much more if only…*sigh*.
Anyway, I love your attitude and I continue to be inspired by you every day! I wanna be like you when I grow up! 🙂
oh, I sure get the “logically” vs “emotionally.” It takes a long time to change some of that emotional stuff. Still working on some of it myself. You got quite a few years to grow up to be my age!
Titis is an outstanding post. It is thoughtful and wise. I love that you are satisfied with the a out of work you have put into your health and you will not let anyone take that away from you. A very inspiring piece.
Blessings,
Dana
Thanks Dana
I think it says a LOT if you are happy with how you look ON CAMERA. To me that is much tougher than in daily life. I love your sanity and your wisdom. I hope I can get to my “happy place” and stay there. Looking forward to the show too!
I know. that was what I was worried about. I wonder if cameras are different nowadays, with digital and the computer and all. Otherwise, all of you can be thinking that I am actually 10 pounds thinner than I look on TQS :)))))
Bravo! I’m so happy for you that you’ve accomplished so much and know when to say “that’s enough” and find the balance that works for you! I hope to get there some day.
Saw the preview, looking forward to the show. You look great! I would be intimidated totally to be on camera, and show my quilts and needlework, so glad I tune into your blog! Thanks for keeping it up. I love the thoughts about satisfaction, and thin enough!!!! YES!!!
Thanks Kathy! Alex and Ricky and the producer Shelly, and everybody were so nice I was almost able to relax.
Popping in. Just finished a semester, and hope to catch up on your wisdom.
I am particularly impressed with your low-key grace with that doctor. I pray that she goes home and really thinks about how unusual maintaining a 100-pound loss really is.
One of the courses I was taking is Christian Ethics. In one of the articles we read, the author (whom I will NOT describe with the adjectives I’d like because your blog would burst into flames) tied American obesity to global food injustice. Tortured reasoning. Naive understanding of weight loss and maintenance. The kind of thing that makes us all feel NOT okay with our bodies. I decided to do my final project on the Christian Ethics of Obesity. It did not go well. I just ended up on my soapbox and I was angry and it showed.
I’m still going to get an A in the class, but I really need help with the grace thing. That’s what I pulled from your post. Grace. Serendipitous that you would post it at the end of my semester.